The Last Tin man
How many times am I going to date guys who are unable to get close? What is it that I do to attract these people in the first place? Is it that I see something in them that no one else has seen or is it that I am just so desperate to have a close relationship that I ignore the most obvious signs? For a year and a half I dated someone who I should have dated for a day and a half. Why didn’t I realize that someone who never had a close relationship with anyone including his family would ever be able to have one with me? His friends are the most important part of his life but he doesn’t let them get too close either. But at least he’s relieved of the pressure from me to get close. He’s relieved of forcing something that he is incapable of doing. I do hope he’s lucky enough to meet someone who will love him as a person and not want closeness or intimacy. I hope he will be able to open up to someone and they stay with him. I know there is a big heart inside his chest that yearns for a touch of another; unfortunately he will never let it happen because he’s too afraid of opening up. I want him to prove me wrong someday. Show me that he’s not still living in his parents’ efficiency apartment with walls and shelves stocked full of super hero figures and boxes of comic books. Please don’t let him turn into a hoarder and distances him even further from reality, family, and friends. I hope someday he’ll realize that the people and places that were the hardest to deal with are actually what make him a better person.
Someday he’ll want to grow up and want to share his life’s accomplishments with someone who is more than a friend; I hope he finds it.
As my heart has been breaking slowly for months and I feel nothing but pain when I think of our relationship, But this I only blame on myself for falling in love with a fantasy of a close relationship. In the process I fell in love with someone who doesn’t know what love is. Tonight I heard the words that I need to hear “I am not in love with you”. Now I can let him go and I know I am now free. I know that my heart will be stronger and I will be able to love even more the next time. I will never stop loving. Goodbye Tin man I hope you find your heart before you rust.
How many times am I going to date guys who are unable to get close? What is it that I do to attract these people in the first place? Is it that I see something in them that no one else has seen or is it that I am just so desperate to have a close relationship that I ignore the most obvious signs? For a year and a half I dated someone who I should have dated for a day and a half. Why didn’t I realize that someone who never had a close relationship with anyone including his family would ever be able to have one with me? His friends are the most important part of his life but he doesn’t let them get too close either. But at least he’s relieved of the pressure from me to get close. He’s relieved of forcing something that he is incapable of doing. I do hope he’s lucky enough to meet someone who will love him as a person and not want closeness or intimacy. I hope he will be able to open up to someone and they stay with him. I know there is a big heart inside his chest that yearns for a touch of another; unfortunately he will never let it happen because he’s too afraid of opening up. I want him to prove me wrong someday. Show me that he’s not still living in his parents’ efficiency apartment with walls and shelves stocked full of super hero figures and boxes of comic books. Please don’t let him turn into a hoarder and distances him even further from reality, family, and friends. I hope someday he’ll realize that the people and places that were the hardest to deal with are actually what make him a better person.
Someday he’ll want to grow up and want to share his life’s accomplishments with someone who is more than a friend; I hope he finds it.
As my heart has been breaking slowly for months and I feel nothing but pain when I think of our relationship, But this I only blame on myself for falling in love with a fantasy of a close relationship. In the process I fell in love with someone who doesn’t know what love is. Tonight I heard the words that I need to hear “I am not in love with you”. Now I can let him go and I know I am now free. I know that my heart will be stronger and I will be able to love even more the next time. I will never stop loving. Goodbye Tin man I hope you find your heart before you rust.
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